Ok guys I need you to honestly answer the questions below! Just copy and paste into the comments and go at it! If you plead the 5th on some of the questions I won’t hold it against you….too much! I need them for research into the male psyche, also I can’t wait to read your answers because I think it will be awesome! So answer away and thanks in advance for your help! As a side note I didn’t compile this list, so some of the questions are a bit off, for instance…I would rather go see a movie with explosions then a rom-com, love video games and a few others I completely fall into the guy category(should this worry me?) On an average they are pretty good questions! Also if any of you girls want to answer these questions with what you think guys are thinking that would be awesome too! ~Elizabeth

1. Did you really think those Super Bowl ads were funny?
2. Why do you take so long pooping?
3. Why do you cup your balls so much?
4. Bar soap or body wash?
5. Why ask for my number if you’re not going to actually call?
6. Why the mindset that being in a long-term relationship is the end of fun?
7. Why are you so convinced that sex is so much more important for you than it is for women?
8. Do you ever fake orgasms?
9. Is there such a thing as “too slutty”?
10. What percentage of your female friends do you want to sleep with?
11. Have you cheated? How often?
12. Why do you always seem to be drawn to women who are dramatic?
13. Hypothetically speaking, do you remember what I was wearing when we first met?
14. How often do you look at porn when your girlfriend isn’t home?
15. What is going through your head when we’re annoyed with you?
16. Do you actually notice when it’s laundry day and we’re wearing old/unattractive panties or do they all look kinda the same to you?
17. Seriously, isn’t watching six straight hours of football a bit too much?
18. Why do you continue to eat spicy foods if it only makes you feel sick?
19. What makes you think we will go see movies with guns/bombs/explosions if you will not go see rom-coms with us?
20. If your mother started an argument with me, whose side would you be on?
21. What do you have against special facial cleansers?
22. What does it feel like when you fall in love?
23. What are you really thinking during sex?
24. What is the one thing you wish girls did in bed that they never do?
25. What do dudes talk about when they are alone?
26. Why do you just disappear? If you don’t want to keep dating me, why not just say something?
27. Why won’t you just buy a new pair of shoes?
28. Why won’t you ask for directions?
29. What are your expectations of a romantic partner?
30. Why do you enjoy video games so much?
31. Why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?
32. Do you hate it when we ask you to kill the bugs or does it secretly make you feel kind of macho?
33. Have you ever slept with a prostitute?
34. What is my favorite flower? C’mon, surely you’ve been listening.
35. Do you really like the way we taste down there?
36. If she cheated on you, would you take her back and try to save the relationship? If not, would you expect the same from her?
37. Do you have a hard time if she’s more successful financially?
38. If a woman gives birth, do you have a hard time seeing her as a sexual partner?
39. Why do you want to stick it in our butt so much? Don’t you think about poo?
40. If you were with a woman who never let you near her butt, would you be cool with that?
41. What’s worse: Marriage or loneliness?
42. Do you care if they’re real boobs or fakes?
43. Do you secretly wish we were virgins the first time we slept with you?
44. What does being kicked in the balls really feel like?
45. What do you think about when you’re going down on us?
46. Does your mom really like me? Do you care?
47. How was your first cunnilingus experience?
48. Have you ever fantasized about one of my friends? A guy?
49. Does your dick feel like a dangling appendage when you run?
Have you ever considered milking the prostate? I’ve heard it’s the jam!

I just got my book cover for “Bound by Blood” my upcoming paranormal romance from Lyrical Press. I may be a bit partial, but I think it is FABULOUS! It isn’t steampunk, but my heroine does wear goggles!

Today boys and girls we will explore what happens when a penniless romance author needs a dress form! So as most of you know I am making a fun selection of goth/steampunk clothing for myself. I am tired of sticking myself with pins while fitting stuff to myself, so I decided to make my own dress form…with duct tape!

Step One - Put on an old shirt you don’t mind ruining. You can try to do this on bare skin, but I don’t recommend it!! Also I don’t recommend wearing pants because this will add extra padding around your waist and screw up your measurements. Besides everything is funner in your underwear. I also suggest taking pictures, because wrapping yourself in duct tape is truly a Kodak moment!

 Step Two - At this point you might want to take a moment to stretch because you are going to need to contort in unusual ways to wrap yourself. Or you could be smart and get someone else to help. Who knows it could lead to some kinky fun! At this point pick up your roll of trusty duct tape and start wrapping from the bottom up!

Step Three- Now that you have your shirt completely coated in the shiny tape(warning it gets really warm when you are coated with duct tape. It isn’t a very breathable material) pick up your scissors! And either yourself or someone you REALLY trust can start cutting down the front of the shirt. Hopefully you are smarted then me and don’t get some of it attached to your skin, because it hurts like a son of a bitch when you pull it off!

Step Four - Once your delightful masterpiece is removed from your personage tape the front back up and close the neck and arm holes with more duct tape! Then stuff it full of old newspaper! Seal up the bottom and presto! cheep dress form! Just check to make sure the measurements still match up and you are set to go!

Wasn’t that exciting? You never know what you are going to learn here next! That is it for today and as always until next time….don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! ~Elizabeth

 Today due to sleep deprivation and my brain randomly blanking out I am going to do a quick post to let you know that I am now listed under the Lyrical Press author list! How cool is that? You know you want to check it out….My author page at Lyrical……I will wait while you go marvel at the awesomeness…….yeah I only look at that you know like 1000 times a day. Other then that I have a new blog post up over at Steamed! and I am feverishly working away at two new books! And for the fun of it I am including a hilarious commercial that proves my point that all clowns are EVIL! I promise a more thrilling post tomorrow! ~Elizabeth

So it is that time for year again where they try to start pushing sappy crap down our throats at every store check out line! I know you guys are just hoping that it will be a night that guarantees you get lucky! Don’t deny it, you know it is true. So I am compiling a guide that is sure to get you some action! Avoid all the cliche gifts because well that is boring, step out and do something different! First off put on the sexy shirt shown below, this lets your date know your intentions right up front! She will enjoy your obvious sense of humor and help build her anticipation for the “big” moment later on. At this point in time you should probably give her the first present of the evening(spread them out for a better effect). The first gift should be the helpful book, “Going Down”the illustrated guide to giving him the best blow job off his life. This is sure to subtly let her know what you expect later on! Next take her out to “Hooters” and make sure and comment on all the waitresses racks! Right after you get your dessert get down on one knee and pop open a box of “Linger” the vaginal mint! This is sure to charm her with your thoughtfulness to her needs and she will suggest you head home without dessert and get down to work on the guide you gave her earlier! If you follow my advice you are sure to be able to talk her into either “the standing tiger/crouching dragon” or “the dirty dangler” as the evening heats up! Ok really if you follow my advice you will probably get a glass of water thrown on your face, a foot to the balls and a restraining order. I however would think this was awesomely hilarious, but I am not a candy and jewelry kind of gal! So here is the real advice…..ready for it…..just tell her she is sexy and be prepared to go down….without being asked!! Wishing you much success on your Valentine’s Day! Until next time, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! ~Elizabeth

 Hey boys and girls! I have some amazing news! I sold my first book “Bound by Blood” to Lyrical Press! ”Bound by Blood” is a sexy, dark paranormal romance with Vampires and Lycan…Oh my! I don’t have a release date yet, but have no fear you will be the first to know when I do! It will release as an e-book first, but you will be able to order it through all major bookstores and amazon. I can’t wait to see my name on the cover of MY book! Although after signing the contract I realized I am totally going to have to work on my signature before I do book signings! So anywho have a glass of the bubbly with me in celebration and enjoy the book trailer for “Bound by Blood”! And as always, until next time don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! ~Elizabeth

 Blogging over at Steamed today!! Check it out and comment! ~Elizabeth

So first off let me get this out of the way….if you aren’t 18 or if you don’t want your boss wondering what the hell you are looking at…..close the page now….for the rest of you curious what my pervy mind has found fascinating today….keep reading!!

Quite a bit of my book “Spirit Born” involves a fictitious 19th century vice club called, “Vitiosus”. It is used as a cover for a magical society of aristocrats dabbling in time travel. While my group originated from my twisted mind, there were plenty of the real thing back in the day! And they were delightfully kinky!! The ones involving the aristocratic society members(male and female alike) were the most elaborate often involving outrageous costumes and masks. They had graphic paraphernalia such as “prick glasses” in which they used to make ribald toasts, obscene ballot boxes in which the votes(yay or nay) would go into respective orifices and “testing platters” into which the club members would spill their seed. Sadly not many of these fantastic items remain since when they were discovered by the less zesty portion of society they were quickly and quietly disposed of since they weren’t proper. Oddly enough things haven’t really changed that much. There is whole room housing these fascinating relics of history in the St. Andrews museum in Scotland and they keep them hidden away from the public afraid to display these naughty pieces of history. I think it is a shame really.  Anywho I will jump off my little soap box and get back to the details of what went down in theses clubs! hehe There was a selection of fun to be had by all members, masturbating group rooms, the latest selections of dirty books, rooms in which various pairs or groups could break off into, kinky rituals and ceremonies. They even had young and beautiful “posture Molls” showing off their supple naked bodies  and gyrating in “lap dances” for the patrons. And we like to think we invented all those things! The beauty of these gatherings was nothing was taboo, any position, any gender, any orifice. In fact this maybe the only place that anyone in that era felt truly unrestrained by the stifling guidelines of that day and age.

I hope you enjoyed this installment of history with Elizabeth and as always until next time don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! ~Elizabeth

 Hello boys and girls! I have been a busy bee lately, still writing like mad. And very, very soon you will be able to read my work. I promise! So today I have compiled a list of 50 random facts about me. I can’t promise that they are interesting, but anywho, here ya go! Enjoy!

 1. I only wear black nail polish.

2. I wear corsets on a regular basis.

3. I am still in possesion of one of my baby teeth.

4. I LOVE writing the sex scenes in my books.

5. A whiskey sour is my favorite drink.

6. I once played the Artful Dodger in the play “Oliver”.

7. The sun and I don’t get along.

8. I LOVE vampires, but not sparkly ones!

9. My first car was a 1966 Dodge Dart and it was a POS, but I loved it.

10. . I play World or Warcraft.

11. I HATE clowns…..I mean I really HATE clowns.

12. People always think I am younger then I am.

13. I sew all my steampunk outfits on a treadle sewing machine.

14. I DON’T do Avon or Mary Kay parites, don’t even ask me!.

15. I look at the sun if I feel the need to sneeze….I am screwed if there is no sun.

16. I only wear thigh high stocking and garter belts, I DO NOT wear tights or nylons.

17. I am good at making tips when I waitress!

18. I can’t throw a baseball to save my life.

19. I don’t write anything in my sex scenes that I haven’t experianced or am willing to experiance.

20. My motto is “don’t knock it til you try it”.

21. I can’t remember what my natural hair color is any more.

22. I really, really want a tattoo.

23. I am waiting to get a tattoo until I can use it to celebrate a publishing contract.

24. I LOATH country music.

25. I exist on lots and lots and lots of black coffee.

26. I also love pumpkin spice lattes….

27. and pumpkin beer…..

28. The fall is my favorite season.

29. Camping is pretty much overrated.

30. I have jumped into a glacier lake in the winter and survived.

31. I used to do three day eventing with my horse.

32. I used to own a horse named Irish, he was my baby.

33. I yearn to visit Ireland.

34. I contain quite a bit of Irish in me, hence the reason I sunburn if I even look at the sun.

35. I love movies, but loath tv.

36. My favorite colors are black and purple.

37. I am not a pink kinda girl.

38. I usually cut my own hair.

39. I love Kenny from South Park.

40. I prefer cold weather to hot weather.

41. I once had to have an x-ray done on my head to make sure my skull wasn’t denting into my brain.

42. I am taking up tribal fusion belly dancing.

43. My favorite movie is “The Fountain”.

44. I have met a famous person and not known who they were until after….

45. I have been in a music video.

46. I have had an Irish car bomb and remained up right, no small feat if you are as small as I am.

47. I am a very bad influence!

48. I pocrastinante frequently.

49. I HATE mustaches with a passion! I will never kiss a man with a mustache, even if it is Hugh Jackman….

50.  I am sitting here in my underwear writing this list.

THE END

~Elizabeth

Hello boys and girls!! I have been a busy little bee and writing like mad on the second book in my Code name: Raven series! This means my brain is too fried to think of a clever blog post! No rest for the wicked right!? Anywho I am off to do some more work and while I am busy….I have a lovely visual treat for you all and it includes lots and lots of kissing….and most of it includes Hugh Jackman…..YUM!!! So enjoy and happy hump day!! ~Elizabeth